The List - by Cristina Roe

Any ND could probably relate to this one, you know, horror of horrors, the enormous Supermarket shop.  And if you are ever so politically correct and ecologically friendly, just add another dimension of complexity.

Where have you been, you’ve been out all morning
And poor Sam’s running a fever in bed?
You left home at nine, “popping out” I said “fine”
“To the shops to buy milk and more bread”

Are you sure you avoided the local?
Or is there something I should know?
You certainly look worried, all flustered and hurried
Perhaps a good gossip with Jo?

It’s true I set off for some groceries
Had no lover, no gossip, no drink
The supermarket was a nightmare
Next time, you should go, I think.

The milk was all in plastic cartons
And recycling it is such a chore
I looked for organic, got into a panic
Bumped into the people next door

“One must have compassion for bovines”
I cried with a tear in my eye
“The landfills are reaching capacity
We either go green or we die”

They stared and then called for security
I said “I ‘m OK now”, white lie
As I ventured the aisles, for miles and miles
Searching for houseplant wire tie

“How silly, it’s down by the light bulbs
So obvious, I’m not thinking straight”
But the bread zone was simply enormous
I’d resigned myself to being late

Two rows stretching to the horizon
With prices and labels and dates
And wrapping or not, thinly sliced or complete
Wholemeal, granary, lardy, just crates!

We all know that gluten’s not healthy
And hygiene and freshness are good
Yet is it best covered or open
Processed, new baked, unleavened? I brood
 
And is it fair trade or exploited
With wheat farmers doubled in two
With ten kids to rear on £5 a year
Who’ve never caught sight of a shoe?


And what of these pounds, kilos, litres?
Who knows the conversion rates now?
Dividing the price by the dry weight
And comparing with others, but how?

And have I considered the air miles?
Fuel costs, environmental abuse?
I’ve misplaced my trusty calculator
Could I recycle, reuse and reduce?

I must do my bit for the planet
And would Lord Geldoff approve?
Nutrition advice is denied at a price
The dietary guilt trip to prove

I was developing rather a migraine
The flickering lights hurt my brain
As I steadied myself to the Spirits
A drop of dark rum to obtain

Yet could I remember what origin
Was conscience free, liberal, and sound?
South Africa’s so so, dictatorship’s no no,
And drug dealing war lords abound

What countries are right to embargo?
Are others an imperialist trap?
When poverty and despair
Leads to devil may care
Have I even the audacity to flap?

So what have you bought my sweet darling
After all your dilemmas and strain?
I’m afraid not a lot, the security guard got
Me for suspicious behaviour again.
 

Cristina Roe ©